Edward Miller

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I will admit the uncomfortable part: there is a particular embarrassment in needing help with something you chose, and it stops a lot of people from asking. If you selected this change yourself, admitting that it is hard can feel like conceding you were wrong. You were probably not wrong. Starting over is difficult independently of whether it was the right decision, and conflating the two keeps people silent for months while they wait for evidence one way or the other. We separate them early. It is entirely possible for a good decision to be a hard one, and saying so out loud tends to release something. I was in group settings for a long time first, where the people who chose their upheaval were reliably the last to admit difficulty. If you chose this and it is hard, both things are allowed. A good decision and a hard one are perfectly compatible.