Lily Tanaka

About

My view of this work is straightforward: the goal is not to feel better about the loss, it is to be able to carry it without it costing you your entire life. Those are different objectives and confusing them causes a lot of unnecessary suffering. Grieving well, if the phrase means anything at all, means the person stays with you while the rest of your life gradually resumes around them. It does not mean detachment and it does not mean closure, a word I have very little use for. We work toward something more honest and a lot more achievable than either of those. I sat on the client's side of this myself once, which is why I have such a low tolerance for the tidier theories. They did not help me and I do not offer them. You will not be handed a framework here. If that matches how you feel about it, get in touch.