Heather Vargas

About

What I want understood before we start is this: the reactions you are most embarrassed about are the ones I would expect to see. People brace to describe something shameful and are surprised to find it listed in the textbook. Being ordinary is a relief. PTSD produces a fairly predictable set of responses, including several that people find humiliating to admit to. Hearing that yours are standard rather than peculiar removes a layer of difficulty immediately. We deal with the actual problem instead of the shame about the problem, which is usually the heavier of the two. I was raised around caregiving and learned early that people conceal the parts they think are unacceptable. Those parts are usually the most ordinary. If you have been dreading the telling, it will be less remarkable than you fear. Ordinary is the most useful thing you can be told here.