Nathan Smith

About

The sentence I repeat most often is this: the pattern you keep repeating is almost never about poor judgement. It is about what felt familiar, and familiarity is a far stronger pull than preference ever was. That distinction changes the work. Dating the same difficult person in different bodies is not a failure of discernment. It is recognition operating faster than evaluation, and it can be interrupted once you feel it happening in real time. We work on the recognition rather than on your standards. Standards were never the problem here. Group settings came before my own practice, and watching the same pattern surface across many different people made it impossible to see it as an individual failing. If you keep meeting the same person, get in touch. Familiarity is the pull, and it can be felt in time to interrupt it. Familiarity explains far more of this than judgement ever did.