Lily Wang

About

What I have learned above all is that people are much better at handling change than they are at forgiving themselves for finding it hard. The capability is usually there. The permission is not. Life transitions are treated culturally as things you should be able to absorb gracefully, particularly if you chose them, and that expectation does a lot of quiet damage. We spend real time dismantling it. Once someone stops treating their own difficulty as evidence of weakness, most of the practical problems become a lot more tractable, which surprises people who had assumed the feelings were the easy part. I came to this work through my own time as a client during a period of upheaval, when I was told fairly briskly that I ought to be pleased about it. I was not pleased and the advice was useless. If you have been given that advice, come and get better advice.