Zainab Patel

About

The person who usually finds me has recently become the subject of other people's admiration and is finding it unbearable. They made a large change, everybody called it brave, and now there is no acceptable way to say that it has been a lot harder than advertised. Admiration is its own trap. Starting over attracts congratulation at exactly the point when someone most needs to complain, and the congratulation makes complaint socially impossible. So it goes unsaid for a year. We drop that constraint here, which is usually the first time in months anybody has been able to be honest about it. I have watched a great many people perform contentment about a decision they were still recovering from. It costs more than the decision did. If you have been congratulated into silence, get in touch. Honesty is easier here than at a dinner table.