Michael Iyer

About

People generally reach out after a particular conversation goes badly for the third or fourth time, and someone finally says that this cannot keep happening. That sentence is usually the trigger. Couples rarely arrive because of one event; they arrive because a pattern has become undeniable and the usual repairs have stopped working. We start there rather than with history. What has been happening lately, in specific terms, tells me more in twenty minutes than a full account of how you met ever could. I spent my first working life in a completely different field, which means I came to this without inherited assumptions about how it ought to be done. I ask a lot of basic questions. If someone in your house has said that this cannot keep happening, they are probably right. We look at the pattern first and the history afterwards, if the history turns out to matter at all.