Lily Okonkwo

About

There is one thing I tell almost everyone in a first meeting: the goal is not to become a person this never happened to. That person does not exist, and chasing them costs people years. The realistic version is a lot better than it sounds. Survivors who do well are not unmarked. They still carry it. The difference is that it has stopped deciding where they go, what they try, and who they let close. I have watched people get there more times than I can count. Aiming at erasure is the thing that usually ends the work early, because nothing ever measures up. I trained in community mental health before private practice, and that is where I learned how much the first conversation sets up. Getting the target right at the start does more for how this goes than any technique I could apply later. If you have been aiming at erasure, we can aim at something you can actually reach instead.