Ashley Stewart

About

The clearest thing this work has shown me is that nobody chooses their first instinct in a moment of threat. People arrive apologizing for reactions that were installed long before they had any say in the matter. Attachment patterns are learned early and they are extremely durable, which is not the same thing as permanent. What changes is not the instinct itself but the gap between the instinct and what you do next, and that gap can be widened deliberately with practice. Most people find it grows faster than they expected once they know what to look for. I first came to this as a client, working on exactly this, which is why I have limited patience for the suggestion that people simply need to try harder. Trying harder was never the missing part. If that sounds familiar, get in touch. The instinct stays; what you do in the following second is what we change.