Hiroko Tanaka

About

Should I be over this by now? People ask me that with genuine embarrassment, usually having consulted an imaginary schedule that nobody ever actually published. There is no such schedule. Major life changes take as long as they take, and the length has more to do with how much of your daily structure was disrupted than with the emotional magnitude of the event. Someone can be flattened for a year by something that sounds minor and recover in weeks from something enormous. We work with your actual pace rather than the one you assume you should be keeping. I supervise newer clinicians as well as seeing my own clients, and impatience with someone's timeline is the error I most often have to point out. It rarely helps and it often harms. If you have been consulting an imaginary schedule, get in touch. Your pace is the only real one, and it is not up for negotiation.