Wei Tanaka

About

There is a stubborn idea that talking about the person who died will make everything worse, and that the responsible thing is to look forward. It is exactly backwards. Avoidance is what keeps the ache at full volume for years. Losing someone is not made smaller by silence; it simply becomes lonelier. In here we say the name, we go over the details as often as you need, and we treat repetition as useful rather than self-indulgent. Most people find they need to tell the story more times than anyone around them has patience for, and that is entirely normal rather than a sign that something has gone wrong with them. For years I worked in group settings before moving to my own practice, and the thing that helped people most was hearing that their strange, specific, repetitive thoughts were shared by everyone else in the room. If you have been keeping quiet to spare other people, reach out.